Your words have power. 10 things to say to the brokenhearted.


When it comes to supporting and serving loved ones there are a few topics that I’ll continue to post about over and over. One of them is serving someone with a broken heart. The list below was originally posted around Valentine’s Day. It’s been updated based on your incredibly honest feedback. These are things that someone suffering from loneliness, regret and shame may need to hear. Feel free to share this list broadly because you never know who may be served by these words.

10 things to say to the brokenhearted

  1. This is going to hurt for much longer than you hope it will. I need to tell you this so you don’t demand from yourself a faster recovery than what is possible.”
  2. You will likely do something desperate and embarrassing if you haven’t already. You might even do it multiple times and even after you thought you’d gotten better. This is completely normal so don’t feel ashamed. We’ve all been there.”
  3. Yes, my life is busy but I have time for you. You will not go through this alone.”
  4. She really didn’t know you. She knew the version of you while in a bad relationship. Because you’re feeling broken right now you may think that version is the real you. It isn’t.”
  5. I want better for you. I know you miss him a lot. But you could receive so much more love than what you were getting.”
  6. Be sad. You’re giving this fight to get happy again all you have. But whenever you need to take some time to be sad you shouldn’t feel bad about it. It’s ok to be sad. It won’t mean you aren’t moving on.”
  7. I need you in my life. He may not have needed you and that hurts, but I do.”
  8. Yes, you made some mistakes. So did she. But you’ll get a chance to do better next time and I know you will.”
  9. Yes, I am tired of talking about him, but I’m happy to keep doing it if it is still helping you move on. Is it?”
  10. I love you and I’m not saying that to make you feel better. I really love you and I want to make sure you know it.”

Let’s keep making this list better.

What would you say differently?

What have you needed to hear?

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