Choosing love over hate is not a spiritual cliché – it is a habit built from discipline and by smaller life choices. One of the many decisions that impact our ability to love is who we spend our time with.
I would not go back to high school for all the money in the world. During that time, I was constantly hiding my true self, especially my need for close loving relationships. I did (and still do) fall in love with the people around me, but I don’t mean that in the romantic sense. As a teen, I can remember being heartbroken over friendships that never became what I hoped they would or stopped being what they once were. One of the hardest lessons of my life, was learning to discern who was on my side so I could live and work with a more open heart.
The love we keep around us shapes who we become.
This week’s intention
Choosing which personal relationships to invest in is a major work decision. Our highest work will stem from an open heart. Yet, we learn to close our hearts each time we seek support from relationships that are not authentic and reciprocal. Next week, we will work on supporting others, but this week the focus is on cultivating the relationships that fill our spirits and build our capacity to love.
- If you’ve tried to grow closer to someone, was that invitation of friendship enthusiastically accepted or are you doing all the work to move the relationship forward?
- Do your mentors seem to have space in their lives for you? How hard is it to get a reply when you seek their counsel?
- Are your new friends interested in learning who you are?
- Are your old friends seeking to know you better and letting you grow?
- Are the people you reach out to for support happy to hear from you and do you feel better from being in their presence?
There are a lot of reasons that great people fail to support and mentor us. This is not about identifying people who are bad friends or not worth our time – every soul is worth our time. This is about discernment and paying attention to the love you feel (or don’t feel) around you. Everyone will not be your supporter, but if you place someone in the friend or mentor category that relationship should be loving. We all need an abundance of love to do the hard work of service.
My intention is to grow, nurture and expand the loving relationships in my life.
This week, pray and mediate on love and discernment. See where you feel love present and where you don’t. You might be surprised to find unexpected people eager to support and mentor you, but you’ve been too busy trying to repair a relationship that is ready to be released or transformed into something else. Journal about the relationships you are investing your time and energy in? Who is truly on your side and are they preparing you to be a more powerful leader, mentor, and supporter to others?
Next week, we’ll stay on this topic – it’s a big one. See you then!