If there’s a secret to offer negotiation, it lies in your ability to be strong and ask for what you want. The candidate with the longer list of requests may only get half of them, but still end up with a lot more than the person that only asked for one thing (or worse, didn’t ask for anything).

Do you feel comfortable asking for what you want at work? Are you comfortable asking for more money in a job offer or a business deal? Do you ask for the work assignments you’d enjoy most?

How about asking for something personal? Are you comfortable asking a friend to check on you more? Are you comfortable telling someone when you don’t want to volunteer, or go to their event, or eat what they cooked?

All of these things are tied together, as our work and our personal lives often are. Your ability to see and be honest about what you want dictates what you ultimately receive and how you experience your life.

You will not feel powerful, if you never use your power.

This week’s intention

This week, I want to encourage you to pray and meditate on your power.

Pay attention to any opportunity you have to be honest about what you want. I’m not talking about making ultimatums or nagging. Asking for what you want is a simple exercise of voicing what is true for you, without demands or expectations.

My intention is learn how to connect with, respect, and voice my truth.

Do you want to attend that training your colleague took a few months ago? If so, tell your boss.

Are you overloaded with tasks in the office or at home and in need of additional support? If so, don’t keep it to yourself.

Do you want to change roles at your company? If so, tell your mentor.

Do you hate your job? If so, tell your spouse, your financial advisor, or yourself in the mirror. But use your power to voice what is true, because you cannot find your way to your authentic life if you aren’t seeing clearly.

Be strong and see you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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Winter is the time when it appears as if nothing is growing; we’re all just trying to survive. But actually, winter plays a key role in new life. In the coldest months, the potential for growth and greater resilience are already incubating and developing below the surface. No winter—no spring.

As you may know, my winter newsletter focused on the kind of inspiration you can find during the most dormant times of your life—the seasons in between one old plan and your next new one. Specifically, it explored the power to find inspiration from words.

“Our theme for this season centers on the miraculous power of words—where we find them, which ones inspire our work, and how we use them to shape our new reality.”

This week’s intention

I hope you’ve enjoyed the newsletter (especially the video, podcast, and book recommendations). If you’d like to sign up, you can do so here. But either way, I wanted to highlight this winter’s exercise as a first step for anyone needing to rebound from disappointment and/or create a new plan for the season ahead.

My intention is to actively look and listen for inspiration.

Searching for and finding a quote, scripture, book passage, or poem that uniquely speaks (or even calls) to you during this season of your life will open your awareness to your deeper needs. Below is our winter exercise along with my 2019 quote. I hope that you will set an intention to actively look and listen for your own.

Your 2019 Quote

As you explore the world of words, be on the lookout for a quote that fits your deepest desire for how you will be shaped by 2019. I’ve been looking for mine for several months in every book, online article, Instagram quote and podcast that came my way. I found several strong contenders, but knew this was the one the second I read it.

“The moment that you feel that just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.”

–Neil Gaiman

I feel naked just from sharing my quote with you. It reveals what I’m hoping for, but also what I’m struggling with. And that’s the point. That’s the work that is calling me in this season—to get comfortable exposing my heart. What’s calling you? What’s your quote? Please reach out and share. I’d love to hear from you.

See you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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I’ve spent a lot of time on planes this month and I board with a plan. I hope to take a nap, followed by working, eating, and reading. As a last resort, I may watch an inflight movie. To execute the plan, I need to know what music puts me to sleep. I bring one meal and several snacks. I have plenty of water with me at ALL times. I know what I like to read and what type of work tasks to focus on.

Those are the things I plan for. But here’s just a few of the things I can’t control:

• Who will be sitting next to me and will they want to talk?
• Will the people seated around me need to get up and potentially wake me?
• Will I have a chatty flight crew that is on the overhead speaker frequently?
• Will there be a crying baby behind me (or next to me), a kid kicking my seat, or even grown-ups being loud for no good reason?
• How often will the seat belt sign be off so I can go to the bathroom?
• Will the wifi work for the entire flight (even over the mountains) so my emails will go through?
• Will there be turbulence that makes me too dizzy to work, read, or watch a movie?

So you get the picture, it’s a decent plan but there are a ton of things that might derail it. This happens to me on long flights, but also in just about every area of my life—from daily logistics to parenting to work. I’m a planner, but my plans don’t shield me from surprises and disappointment.

Your existence is more important than any failed plan.

This week’s intention

When my plans aren’t working out (especially important personal or professional plans), I tend to blame myself. Yet, that is neither productive nor a realistic assessment of how life works. Planning is a key part of preparation, but life is ultimately beyond our control. On the occasions when life rejects my plan, I’m learning to sit in my discomfort and accept it. I know that I tried my best and my challenge is to let the plan go without feeling like a failure. I have to surrender to the lessons I’m here to learn and the experience I’m having.

My intention is to be kind to myself when life is not working out as I planned.

So this week, we are going to set an intention to be compassionate to ourselves when our best laid plans don’t work out. We are going to work to limit the mental anguish we inflict on ourselves, making a bad situation even worse.

Next week, we’ll talk about how to rebound and start again. But for this week, just pray and meditate on your intention to be kind to yourself and know that as long as you have life in your body, you can and will bear this disappointment. You will get to the other side of whatever failure you might be enduring right now, learn a few things, and have time to plan again.

Take care and see you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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When loss strikes close to home, I find myself waking up from the fog of routine life and remembering just how precious the people around me truly are. Over the past week, I’ve been walking through the world more connected to my heart than usual. This feeling prompted me to spend time during a snowy weekend at home going through old pictures and cherishing each memory. Some of the people in my pictures are no longer living which made those memories more meaningful, and painful at times. But my yearning for the past also reminded me that I still have a huge opportunity to love.

Reflecting on the past can remind us to appreciate the opportunities of the present.

This week’s intention

I won’t get another shot at directly expressing love to my grandfather, that childhood friend that died tragically, or countless other people I’ve lost. Our only opportunity to express love is with the living so we have to take our chances while we have them. Oddly enough, the private and personal act of expressing love impacts our work life as well. Everything in our lives will be better and more powerful when we are loving as hard as we possibly can, to include our work.

My intention is to use the present moment to express love.

This week, take a moment to cherish your loving memories. Notice how pure they feel. Notice how precious routine interactions in the past are to you now. And take that understanding into the rest of your week. Reach out to the people you love and tell them how you feel. Don’t wait and don’t consider it a waste of productive time. Love fuels the human spirit from creativity to capacity to stamina. Adding loving tasks to your to-do list will be time well spent.

See you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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Sometimes it’s hard to know what to expect from a spiritually-centered work life. Should it help us be at peace with our current situation or should it inspire us to take on new goals? I used to think that having clarity around a calling was the only sign that I was on the right path. I thought I was meant to pursue goal after goal, without ever taking a significant pause to incubate a new understanding and seek clarity on where to go next.

But what’s more important–the plan or the execution of the plan? Obviously, both are important. Yet, I found myself so ready to execute that I didn’t want to wait for the vision to fully take shape.

Seeking clarity takes time.

This week’s intention

Seeking clarity may sound like an easy task, but it is only realized when we strengthen our ability to patiently wait. And waiting is hard work. Working with a strong spiritual vision (even when pursuing a difficult goal) will always be easier than waiting for the fog of discernment to clear.

There is an almost addictive thrill in setting and achieving goals, but we are not meant to live in constant pursuit. Seeking clarity tests our ability to be still and live in peace. Do you believe that your highest work is worth the wait?

My intention is to wait patiently for inspiration and direction.

This week, meditate and pray on your ability to seek and wait for clarity. Journal on the following questions:

• Do I trust that clarity will eventually come?
• Do I believe that my waiting has a purpose?

See you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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If your social media feeds are anything like mine, you’ve spent the last week watching everyone you know live their very best lives. You’ve seen some of the happiest families imaginable, gorgeous holiday decorations, scrumptious food, insanely adorable children, people getting ALL the gifts, couples relaxing in exotic locations, and warm wishes filled with gratitude.

I also posted pictures of gingerbread houses and smiling faces. I enjoy seeing the happy times my friends and family are experiencing. My concern is with the perception social media can create that lots of people (most people) have everything they ever wished for, when the reality is that nobody does. The person with the smiling kids, may also be mourning a missing loved one. The person that is at the beach this year, may be struggling with infertility. That new car in the driveway with a bow on it, may be a last attempt to save a marriage or a way to ease a spouse’s long commute to a boring job.

We won’t get everything we want, but our greatest power comes from choosing to enjoy our lives anyway.

This week’s intention

My only wish for you this week is for you to set an intention to find joy in the life you already have, in spite of how the New Year tends to magnify our desire for change. There are things I wanted in my life that, unfortunately, I don’t have yet and may never have. I’m guessing the same is true for you. But one thing is for sure, this final day of 2018 and this new year ahead will bring both an opportunity to focus on what we lack OR an opportunity to focus on the things that bring us joy. I hope you choose joy, because choosing joy will give you the capacity to work with purpose and have a greater impact on the world in 2019.

My intention is to find joy in the life I lead.

That’s it, no questions this week unless you want or need to revisit our end of year reflection posts. I’ve placed their links below.  Also, my winter newsletter comes out tomorrow filled with a key seasonal exercise along with video, book and podcast recommendations to support you and the discovery of your most meaningful work. I hope you enjoy it! Visit the connect page and sign up to receive it, if you haven’t already.

See you next week!

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2018 Reflection Questions

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

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I hope you’re taking a break this week to enjoy family, fellowship and rest. In the spirit of pausing, there are no new questions this week. If you would like to catch up on any of the previous end of year posts, here are the links to week 1, week 2, week 3, and week 4’s reflection questions. This is the perfect time to get caught up.

See you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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Meet me here to connect more often.

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Know someone else that needs peace and inspiration in their work life? Please share.

Moving slower is rarely considered a good thing in business, but some of the best things in my life happen at a slower pace. (Insert pause while I thank God for my crock pot.) If your life is anything like mine right now, your pace is speeding up – not slowing down. It’s the week before Christmas and I’m getting a lot done, but this pace leaves little room for renewal and creativity.

The pace we move determines what we see around us.

This week’s intention

The view is different when I’m looking out the window as my car speeds down the street than if I’m taking a leisurely walk in my neighborhood. At a slower pace, different things draw my attention and the world inevitably feels more detailed and beautiful on those walks.

A slower pace is essential to cultivating inspiration and discernment which guide us to our best work decisions. This is why I want to encourage you to stop and consciously assess the pace of your life before heading into 2019.

My intention is to set aside dedicated time for reflection.

I hope you’re making the time for reflection and the promise of your work in the coming year. Here are the links to week 1, week 2, and week 3’s questions if you need to catch up.

This week’s questions are:

Did the pace of my life in 2018 leave enough room for inspiration, creative flow, and rest?

AND

What changes can I make in 2019 to further optimize the pace of my life?

We do have a say in the pace of our lives, but only if we stop long enough to notice the speed we’re traveling at and make adjusts where needed. Are your weekends restorative or rushed? Are you in need of a wind down routine before bedtime or dedicated spiritual practice in the mornings? What things should you do less of next year to slow the pace of your life?

This post hits close to home as it is obvious to me that I need more downtime in 2019. The hard part will be finding the space for it. What am I going to stop doing or do differently? That’s probably enough to think on for one week.

See you next week!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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I spent way too much time on my phone last week. It was constantly buzzing with shipment notifications that I kept checking while in meetings and on calls. Tracking my holiday deliveries has become a regular part of my workday. The line between my personal time and work time is blurry.

For the next few weeks, many of us will be experiencing a noticeable shift in focus from our work lives to our personal lives. While we keep physically showing up to work everyday, our hearts and minds are at home making holiday plans and worrying about our to-do list. But that’s how it should be, because while I have a job that matters to me, I also know that I am more than a professional title.

We can’t know what we want until we know who we are.

This week’s intention

This is the third post in our series on end of year reflection. Each post has two questions to help you focus on what you truly want from the year ahead. Week 1’s questions explored meaning and curiosity. Week 2’s questions focused on habits and talents. For this week, you will be accessing how you’ve changed in the last year and who you want to be in 2019.

My intention is to set aside dedicated time for reflection.

This week’s questions are:

Are there any parts of my identity, image, or professional brand that are not authentic or true to who I am right now?

AND

What parts of myself do I want to express more fully next year?

These are hard questions to answer, perhaps harder than any of the others. When I sit down to think about these questions, I have to be honest about how I am showing up in the world. I have to dig deeper and ask myself:

• What used to be true about what interests me, what I think, what I enjoy, or how I feel that is no longer true? Am I willing to show up in the world as the new me?
• What am I revealing and/or holding back that creates a warped or slightly less than genuine portrayal of who I am?
• Am I ready to fully bring my gifts into the world?

This is heavy stuff. I’ll be sitting with the two main questions all week and I hope you will be too. Your answers are worth the effort. Knowing how you want to show up in the world has a major impact on the work you can get done in 2019.

We’ll have more questions next week. See you then!

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Learn more about Simply Service, my work and me at Purpose and Kourtney’s story.

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Meet me here to connect more often.

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Know someone else that needs peace and inspiration in their work life? Please share.